Commandant Beck

Commandant was a wonderful boy. He was the epitome of gentleness and goodness. His love for his family goes without saying. We miss you so much puppy. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain and the emptiness that we feel without him. His life was so special. To think they tried to sellhim at aflea market. 7 years was not long enough for us. Commandant wasa very large Rottweiler. Perhaps on the day of his passing the veternarian said it best. "He is true to his breed". The Rottweiler has such a terrible reputation. No one who ever spent a moment with Commandant could have ever used mean or viscious as a description of him. Our life with him seemed to be taken for granted so often. He was a constant part of every aspect of our existence. Always waiting, always patient and always loving us more every day. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma several weeks before Christmas. The limping was an indication of pain. He never cried or whined. I thought that since he was not crying there wasno pain andhe could go on. I had to know for sure and I began researching online . There are manyother ways they show pain. He got to where he rarely left his pillow. It was a struggle to stand and more so to "greet us at the door". He would shift positions and show increased restlessness. His breathing was labored at times, but still no whining or crying. The vet told me that if it had been a person, they would have been on a morphine pump screaming in agony. Didn't take much for me torealize I was being selfish, I wanted him to be there. We chose to end his suffering and planned for the day after Christmas. Again selfish because I didn't want my children to remember Christmas day as the "day Commandant died". My daughter said it best, "No Mom,we will remember on Christmas that Commandant died the day after Christmas."Some people say that dogs know when its time. I don't believe that. What I do know is that dogs know and trust YOU to do what is good for them. We loved him so much, we had to allow him to go on without us. Nota day goes by that I don't cry for him and wish I would have done this or that. I miss him and I am sure that if there is a place that animals go to wait, he is waiting patiently for us like he did so many, many times before.

Commandant was always there. I just wonder how many secrets he knew. Raised in a home with 5 girls I am sure there are many only he could keep :). His life was a testimony to the true nature of the Rottweiler breed. Kind, confindant and fiercely loyal to those in his "pack". His greatest joy was "walking in the snow" in the early morning. My husband would take "his boy" with him in the early morning ventures. One morning Commandant was particularly restless. Chas finally got tired of listening to his pleas and relented. Commandant was on a mission to say the least. When Chas opened to the door, Commandant took off like a bullet to a "secret hiding place". Apparently the day before someone had tossed an entire stack of "perfectly good pancakes" out into the bushes by the side of the road. When Chas finally caught up to him, he was lying contentedly by the edge of the bush enjoying his breakfast. :) Being less than thrilled, Chas proceeded to toss the pancakes further into the woods. Commandant was appalled by his behavior and proceeded to chastise his dad with many groans of discontent. **sigh**

To our boy: Our lives will never be the same. Daddy misses you so much. We cannot fathom the depths of our loss. Deep Creek walks for 3AM pancakes, Kanards yard and the smile when you saw Daddy at the door. I miss you puppy, I want so much to feel your coat, and listen to the sound of your heart when I rest my head upon your chest.I truly hope that we will see you again. Please know that we did what we had to do to stop your suffering.... Now we are left to suffer without you. We miss you puppy, we love you and we await our reunion.

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again

HEAVENLY FATHER

Heavenly Father... We know that not even a sparrow falls without your knowledge, so we know that you are here with us today. Although this beloved companion animal will be missed very much, we give thanks to you for allowing us to have so many wonderful years with him. Thank you for this and for all thy blessing, Lord. Amen.

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