Commandant Beck

Commandant,

Nothing could have prepared me for the pain and the emptiness that we feel without him. His life was so special. To think they tried to sell him at a flea market. 7 years was not long enough for us. Commandant was a very large Rottweiler. Perhaps on the day of his passing the veternarian said it best. "He is true to his breed". The Rottweiler has such a terrible reputation. No one who ever spent a moment with Commandant could have ever used mean or viscious as a description of him. Our life with him seemed to be taken for granted so often. He was a constant part of every aspect of our existence. Always waiting, always patient and always loving us more every day. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma several weeks before Christmas. The limping was an indication of pain. He never cried or whined. I thought that since he was not crying there was no pain and he could go on. I had to know for sure and I began researching online . There are many other ways they show pain. He got to where he rarely left his pillow. It was a struggle to stand and more so to "greet us at the door". He would shift positions and show increased restlessness. His breathing was labored at times, but still no whining or crying. The vet told me that if it had been a person, they would have been on a morphine pump screaming in agony. Didn't take much for me to realize I was being selfish, I wanted him to be there. We chose to end his suffering and planned for the day after Christmas. Again selfish because I didn't want my children to remember Christmas day as the "day Commandant died". My daughter said it best, "No Mom, we will remember on Christmas that Commandant died the day after Christmas." Some people say that dogs know when its time. I don't believe that. What I do know is that dogs know and trust YOU to do what is good for them. We loved him so much, we had to allow him to go on without us. Not a day goes by that I don't cry for him and wish I would have done this or that. I miss him and I am sure that if there is a place that animals go to wait, he is waiting patiently for us like he did so many, many times before.

Commandant was always there. I just wonder how many secrets he knew. Raised in a home with 5 girls I am sure there are many only he could keep :). His life was a testimony to the true nature of the Rottweiler breed. Kind, confindant and fiercely loyal to those in his "pack". His greatest joy was "walking in the snow" in the early morning. My husband would take "his boy" with him in the early morning ventures. One morning Commandant was particularly restless. Chas finally got tired of listening to his pleas and relented. Commandant was on a mission to say the least. When Chas opened to the door, Commandant took off like a bullet to a "secret hiding place". Apparently the day before someone had tossed an entire stack of "perfectly good pancakes" out into the bushes by the side of the road. When Chas finally caught up to him, he was lying contentedly by the edge of the bush enjoying his breakfast. :) Being less than thrilled, Chas proceeded to toss the pancakes further into the woods. Commandant was appalled by his behavior and proceeded to chastise his dad with many groans of discontent. sigh

To our boy: Our lives will never be the same. Daddy misses you so much. We cannot fathom the depths of our loss. Deep Creek walks for 3AM pancakes, Kanards yard and the smile when you saw Daddy at the door. I miss you puppy, I want so much to feel your coat, and listen to the sound of your heart when I rest my head upon your chest.I truly hope that we will see you again. Please know that we did what we had to do to stop your suffering.... Now we are left to suffer without you. We miss you puppy, we love you and we await our reunion.

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again

HEAVENLY FATHER

Heavenly Father... We know that not even a sparrow falls without your knowledge, so we know that you are here with us today. Although this beloved companion animal will be missed very much, we give thanks to you for allowing us to have so many wonderful years with him. Thank you for this and for all thy blessing, Lord. Amen.

Number of views for this memorial: 802

This site was created by
Carolyn
01/15/2008

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Michael Bolton - How Am I Suppose To Live Without You


	Dear God, please let us be together again.
Posted by Carolyn Beck on 01/15/2008

	My darling baby. you were pretty much my only happiness, my sanctuary. you were the only one that was there when times got rough, and you never gave up. you just kept going, and never once did anything to let us know you were in pain. you're my baby. you always have been, and you always will be. watch over me, you always did. watch over stacey too, she deserves it. bethany loves you too. we miss you, and i'm more than estatic about seeing you at those gates. i love you commandant. always and forever.
Posted by Lauren on 01/15/2008

	What a beautiful and friendly boy!!! I have to admit, I was totally frightened by you the first time we met, but after I realized how sweet you were, I fell in love instantly! Your family misses you dearly, but we all know you are in good hands! I will think of you always and the funny stories that your family shared with me about you and the "terrifying" dog on the lose in Deep Creek!! We are thinking and praying for your family that they find comfort and peace! We love you all!! Nicole and Steven
Posted by Nicole and Steven on 01/16/2008

	Commandant, I miss you. I have many pictures of you "in your healthy time" I had almost forgotton how much you use to love to run. Keep the flame my wonderful boy. Never will a day go by that I won't think of you. Wait, wait patiently I promise I will come for you and we will go see Jesus together!
Posted by Mommy on 02/02/2008

	Doodlebug, I dont even know anymore. I've posted a previous candle, but it's not doing any good. My little boy, i miss you more than i ever could have even thought was fathomable. I miss your little head, and i miss kissing you every single day. I come home now, but its just empty. Since that day, i promise you, there has not been a single moment of true happiness in my life. As ive said, you were my baby, my best friend, the only thing i have EVER loved in my entire life. and now you're just gone. and of course no one can seem to understand what that has done to me. i just wanted to say that, im so sorry dotcom. i only left because i had no idea how to look at you and accept the fact that my baby was dying. I miss that little twinkle in your eyes, blowing on your ears, and explaining that you were just "talking". simba still eats my hairties, and now i have nothing to stop him from chasing the laser pen around when we bring it out. i love you commandant. like i sang to you before you left, you are my sunshine. the one and only. you're my baby, and i miss you so much. wait baby, just be patient. i love you.
Posted by Wanna(the only name you heard for me) on 02/12/2008

	Doodlebug, I dont even know anymore. I've posted a previous candle, but it's not doing any good. My little boy, i miss you more than i ever could have even thought was fathomable. I miss your little head, and i miss kissing you every single day. I come home now, but its just empty. Since that day, i promise you, there has not been a single moment of true happiness in my life. As ive said, you were my baby, my best friend, the only thing i have EVER loved in my entire life. and now you're just gone. and of course no one can seem to understand what that has done to me. i just wanted to say that, im so sorry dotcom. i only left because i had no idea how to look at you and accept the fact that my baby was dying. I miss that little twinkle in your eyes, blowing on your ears, and explaining that you were just "talking". simba still eats my hairties, and now i have nothing to stop him from chasing the laser pen around when we bring it out. i love you commandant. like i sang to you before you left, you are my sunshine. the one and only. you're my baby, and i miss you so much. wait baby, just be patient. i love you.
Posted by Wanna(the only name you heard for me) on 02/12/2008

	Still here puppy, still missing you every moment of every day. Patience puppy, I promise you will be the first one we come for. I miss you my boy. I miss you so so so much.
Posted by Mommy on 02/22/2008

	I still think of you every single day. I missed you boy. Sometimes at night, I can hear you breathing.Nothing is the same without you here. I promise, I will never, ever forget you. Love forever, Mommy
Posted by Mommy on 04/13/2008