Sasha came into the family at the beginning of the year
1999. She was a stray puppy my brother picked up near his army camp. Since the
day she came, she was just like a sibling to me, perhaps even closer than any
member in the family. She was the reason I was never have to be home alone
through my childhood days.
I often share my food with her. From fruits to chicken wings
to birthday cakes, I would always spare her some despite the constant
objections from everyone around me. I simply could not resist the look in her
eyes every time she comes to me for food.
I would always leave my door open for her at night so that
she can come in whenever she needs company.
As she grew older, her cute factor began to wear off.
Perhaps the number of commitments I had increased or perhaps, I have
taken her for granted. She was alienated in the house. We seldom pay her much
attention much less showered her with much affection. Everyday was the same
eat, sleep, eat sleep routine for her.
She loved to go for walks. So much so that she is willing to
take a bath for it. (Taking a bath is something she detest most) Yet such
opportunities seldom arise. She is always thrilled whenever I bring her for a
walk. Even the leash could not contain her excitement. She would always be the
one leading the walks.
Her life was dull maybe even emotionally torturous. She
could not speak. We could not understand her either. Perhaps it was simply because we didn't attempt to understand her better. We only provided for her
physical needs. She was brushed aside when she sought affection. Perhaps she could tell that we were too busy for her. Therefore, she would quietly sleep by our feet.
Despite my irresponsible behavior, she never failed to
welcome me home every day even when she is old and frail. She never failed even
when shes in pain. She would limp towards you even if she has to.
5 days before she died, she threw up violently. She was so
sick that she could hardly walk. Still, I failed to notice the severity of her
condition. Her condition deteriorated, she barely had the energy to eat or
drink. It was only then, did my brother and I take action to send her to the
vet.
The vet ran a diagnostic check on her and found that her
livers and kidneys were non functional. Upon an ultrasound scan, they found a
large (7cm) tumor in her liver. The doctors told us that there is minimal
chance for her recovery advised us to euthanize her. I was devastated. I wanted to reject that
idea. But when my brother and I saw how much pain Sasha was in after the
painkillers had worn off. We chose to take the Vet's advice.
13th November 2009, everyone of our family
gathered by her to send her off. We prepared her favorite food. Despite her
love for food, she was in too much pain to eat. It took her 3 attempts to
finish that small piece of meat. As we were petting her, she began to whimper
softly.
She knew that she is about to die
She was afraid. She desperately wants to get off the
operation table.
At 1430 the vet asked if we are ready. As the vet approaches
her with the needles, she growls at the vet. This was unusual because she was
starting to accept the medical treatment but today, she was extremely hostile. She
was probably afraid afraid of dying
At 1435, as the vet was about to start. I held her close and
told her that I loved her This was
probably the first and the last time I ever said that to her. As my brother and
I said our final goodbyes, I felt her head lay limp in my arms.
Sasha
14th December1998 to 13th November2009
Final message to Sasha
Thank you Sasha, for the 10 years and 11 months worth of
love and joy. Thank you for being there for me all this while. You've done your
job, now its time for you to enjoy yourself in the meadows by the rainbow
bridge. I know I have disappointed and neglected you countless times. I deeply regret not spending more time with you, but I believe we will meet
again. By that time, I will be a better sibling for you and we shall cross the
rainbow bridge together.